


don't want perfect, i want you

by pirateygoodness



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:07:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22319101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pirateygoodness/pseuds/pirateygoodness
Summary: There's just so much that Sara wants to say. And she was going to say it, that's the thing that's really getting her. It's not like the time before, where Sara knew how she felt and freaked out. Somewhere along the line, being with Ava shifted from being something that could be fun for a while to something that would leave a hole in Sara's life if she ever lost it, and that's a big, stupid romantic deal. "I mean," Sara says. "I could help. If you want."+(or: missing scenes through the end of Season 4)
Relationships: Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 21
Kudos: 414





	don't want perfect, i want you

**Author's Note:**

> Happy almost Season 5! Title from Betty Who's "I Remember."

"Anyway," Ava says. "I should probably get back and deal with the mess at my place." 

"Oh. Right." Sara's not sure how to put it into words, but she doesn't want Ava to go. She could probably just say that, but part of her balks. It feels - too obvious, too needy. 

(As if it's any kind of secret that Sara's all-in for this, anymore.) 

There's just so much that Sara wants to say. And she was going to say it, that's the thing that's really getting her. It's not like the time before, where Sara knew how she felt and freaked out. Somewhere along the line, being with Ava shifted from being something that could be fun for a while to something that would leave a hole in Sara's life if she ever lost it, and that's a big, stupid romantic deal. "I mean," Sara says. "I could help. If you want."

Ava frowns. "Okay, like help-help or like the kind of help where we need to change the sheets and my apartment's still a mess?" 

"I mean. Both are on the table, but I was trying to offer to actually help you clean up," Sara says. Her heart wants to say a lot more, the words screaming behind her ribs. ( _I'm sorry I haven't helped more, I'm sorry I wasn't home enough, I'm sorry I didn't rescue you a week ago_ ) She rubs Ava's arm through her coat, a gesture that slides into wrapping her arm around Ava's waist. "It's pretty bad." 

"You hate cleaning," Ava says. She's got this lilt to her voice, half-statement and half-question, the kind that makes Sara feel so very - in a relationship. It's the note that says that Sara feels familiar to her, enough that Ava knows what she's like. 

"But I like you," Sara says. "And I'm, you know. Trying to be better about helping with the boring stuff." 

"I'd like that," Ava says. She doesn't roll her eyes when Sara calls cleaning _boring_ , not even a little. Her smile says _I love you_ and - oh. Sara missed it so much that her heart feels like it might never stop aching with relief. 

+

It's cliche, Sara knows it. She's read enough draft chapters of Mick's novels to know that it's - what's the word - a trope. The lovers reuniting after a time apart, and coming together to care for each other emotionally but also physically. The wounded lover being cared for by the one who isn't; checking them over from head to toe. 

(It's also unnecessary; Gideon assessed Ava when they were back on the ship and she's far more qualified to deal with any real injuries that Ava might not have noticed.) 

(The apartment's been cleaned, and they've had a real night's sleep curled together in Ava's bed. The only evidence of Ava's ordeal with Neron is a stiff shoulder that she's moving a little gingerly, the healing bruises on her arms.) 

But Sara's heart doesn't care about narrative predictability or about the facts. Sara's heart just wants to make sure that Ava's _okay,_ and it feels like the only way to really do that is by touching her. She's supposed to be sitting quietly at the dining table, waiting for Ava to finish breakfast, but that feels so far away that it's almost painful. 

Ava promised pancakes. They're one of the few things she can reliably cook on the first try, and the two of them having time to actually eat breakfast together is such a luxury. Sara knows she should just relax and appreciate it. But from this angle, Sara can see the healing gash on Ava's arm, the way she's holding herself a little too stiffly as she mixes the batter. Ava leans over to turn on the stove, and Sara doesn't miss the subtle grunt of discomfort, or the way that Ava runs her hand across her shoulder and rubs at the muscle there. 

She gets up, walks across the kitchen to where Ava's standing. Her feet are quiet on the floor and Ava's distracted, so she makes a point of making a little noise before she reaches out to touch Ava. Just in case. Ava hums in reply; a wordless acknowledgement of Sara's closeness that feels so - _intimate_ , that's the word that Sara's thoughts keep dancing around. 

Sara wraps herself around Ava's back. 

She's missed this. She's missed all of this: Ava's body in her arms, the scent that Sara breathes in when she presses her mouth to Ava's nape and inhales, spending time in Ava's kitchen together, their matching fuzzy slippers. It feels like coming home again. Sara can't get over how certain she feels about that, now. She wants this, wants to make pancakes with Ava every weekend until they're too old to make pancakes anymore. She wasn't sure until she thought she'd lost it forever, but now she knows. 

Sara reaches forward, wraps her arms around Ava's middle. 

(She's a little thinner than Sara remembers, and there's a stab of regret that goes along with that, the sudden unwanted thought that Neron probably didn't bother to feed his potential host body.)

The shape of her is still the same. Sara can still rest her head against Ava's back, one ear pressed to Ava's spine and her cheek against Ava's shoulderblade on the side that isn't sore. She can still reach forward and run her hands across the soft of Ava's belly; can feel the way Ava's ass fits in against her hips when she gets in nice and close. Ava chuckles, brings one hand down to cover one of Sara's. "Hey," she says. "What's this for?" 

"I missed you," Sara whispers. Her words feel inadequate. She doesn't know how to convey the depth of it, the weight of what _I missed you_ really means to her. "Is that allowed?" 

Ava lifts Sara's hand to her mouth, kisses each one of her knuckles in turn. Her mouth is soft and patient and kind, somehow. Sara missed that too. "Of course it's allowed." 

Sara's hands slide upward, from Ava's belly to the hem of her shirt and then a little beyond, skimming over her chest. She's still in the tank top and lounge pants that she slept in; her tits are there to greet Sara as soon as her hands find them. Ava hums, wriggles her hips in response. "Hey," she says, a smile in her voice. 

Sara chuckles. "Hey." 

She squeezes Ava's tits again, runs her thumbs across the skin of them until Ava shivers. "Do you still want pancakes?" Ava asks. Her tone is casual, the idea that Sara might want pancakes or she might want something-not-pancakes held in the space of her sentence. 

Sara pauses. She wants both, and just the fact of that almost surprises her. She doesn't know when she became the person who was okay delaying sex for other things, but suddenly, she is. She kisses Ava's shoulder. "Pancakes first," she says. "Then not-pancakes, after?" 

"Deal," Ava says. 

Sara swears her heart actually skips a beat. 

+

They're waiting to hear back from Zari and Nate, curled up on the couch in Ava's office. It's after hours, and the part of Ava that says she cares about _work-life balance_ should probably have ushered them home hours ago, but there's book club and people to mind and it makes more sense for them both to be here. Honestly, at Ava's place they'd probably just do this, anyway. 

They have so much to catch up on. Ava hasn't heard the story of why Mona is basically Sara's new baby sister, or about the Legends accidentally kidnapping Nixon or Kamadeva. 

(She starts with the sexy stuff first. It's always easier, talking about Zari's feelings and everyone else's experiences than it is to talk about herself.) 

"Oh," Ava says, her smile curling a little wicked. "What did you dream about, then? Something good, I bet?" 

Sara stops short. The truth feels embarrassingly real, and for a moment she thinks about making something up. Old habits tell her to give Ava an answer that she expects, impersonal and salacious. "You," she says. "Us."

Ava leans in, bumps Sara with her side and sort of wiggles her hips. "Ooooooh," she says, her tone so over-the-top that Sara can't help but chuckle. "What were we doing?"

"Just - this, kind of," Sara says. "Us, at your place. I think we watched Bestflix and then - our usual." 

As soon as the words are out of her, Sara feels embarrassed. The urge to criticize is there; to soften what she's just said with a self-deprecating joke about how lame it is, to have her heart's desire be something so domestic. But she feels it, so she says it, and tries not to overthink the way Ava goes quiet. "Seriously?" Ava says. 

The joking deflections would come so easily. _I know, right? Zari got to have a three-way with Nate and Kamadeva and what do I get?_ But she pushes herself, tamps down on the urge to hide and reaches for Ava's hands. "Yeah," Sara says. "I don't know, you weren't talking to me - which I realize now is because you were kidnapped - and this was all I wanted."

"You really missed me," Ava says. Her voice is soft with emotion, and Sara feels an answering flicker of it in her chest. Being honest was the right call. 

"I really missed you," Sara echoes. "I was so scared that I'd lost you." 

Ava makes a point of lacing her fingers through Sara's to hold her hand. She keeps her eyes locked with Sara's, and the combination is enough to give Sara that feeling, the one she's started to think of as home. That she's here, and Ava's here, and together they can take on anything.


End file.
